I am a postdoc at Virginia Tech University with a Ph.D. in neuroscience. When people discover this, they often say, “Great! Then you can tell me what’s wrong with [insert family member/friend’s name here].” But with 8+ years of academic research experience, I still can’t explain why my crazy self decided to hitch my wagon to the perilous tracks of academia. But I have recently decided to ditch the dry prose of academic publications and pursue a career in science writing. As the pandemic has proven, our job doesn’t end when we leave the lab. We need to foster public trust in science by making our research more consumable to the people whose lives we’re trying to improve. So I’ll happily choose to write a witty article about butt bacteria over another F32 application any day.